Moving is an adventure, a new beginning, a chance to build the life you’ve always wanted for yourself. Yet, this thrilling adventure involves moving away from the place you’ve been calling home all your life and the people you care about.
To say that bidding farewell to your sweet home and your loved ones is hard or sad is a gross understatement of the gravity of the matter – your move away from home is likely to be one of the loneliest experiences in your life. You’re going to miss your family and friends. You’re going to miss your routines and your comfort zone. You’re going to miss the places you used to go and the things you used to do.
But, for one reason or another, you chose to leave your old life behind and start anew. So, you need to somehow overcome your homesickness and post-relocation depression. You need to find a way to cope with moving away from family and home and make the most out of your new life. Here are some insightful tips to help you achieve this:
Understand that it’s not the end
When moving to a new city, there may be a great physical distance between you and your loved ones that keeps you from seeing one another. Yet, being away doesn’t mean you’ll stop caring about each other or never see each other again. It simply means that you won’t be able to spend as much time together as you used to. It is true, of course, that everyone will continue with their own lives and things will change a lot. But you can still be a part of each other’s worlds:
- Call often and text whenever you have the chance. This way, you’ll be able to share all your experiences, thoughts, and emotions with the people who matter to you. They will know what’s going on in your life and you’ll have their immediate support and understanding. You can even agree upon a set time (convenient for everyone) to talk with your family – it’s a good idea to schedule more frequent chats at the beginning when you won’t have any friends in your new city yet and will feel terribly lonely (the conversations will get fewer and further between as you get more comfortable in your new environment). Having a planned time to hear from your family will bring you comfort as you will know that you’ll be talking to your loved ones soon;
- Use social media to check on your pals and your family instantly, so that you feel connected even if you are far apart physically;
- Take advantage of video chats to talk to your family and friends face to face. It is as close to seeing them in person as it gets;
- Email or write real letters – there’s such a thrill to see a message in your inbox or a letter in your post box from a loved one! Besides, writing letters will allow you to recount your experiences and share your thoughts in a more detailed and more meaningful way;
- Plan your visits. Decide who will visit who first, set a date, and make travel plans before your relocation. You will have something to look forward to when you find yourself depressed and alone in your new home. Besides, knowing when you will see your loved ones again will help diminish the sadness of being apart.
It will be much easier to cope with moving when you stay in touch with the people you hold dear, so make sure you keep your meaningful relationships alive, no matter how great the distance between you and your loved ones.
Keep positive
Moving away from the place you’ve known your whole life may be hard and overwhelming, but it is a chance for a successful new life – you will have many new opportunities in your new state or city, will learn to stand on your own feet and overcome difficulties by yourself, will find your own self, grow as a person, and become independent and self-confident. You will gain plenty of experience and knowledge, your horizon will expand and you’ll see things in new perspective. Eventually, you’ll become mentally and emotionally stronger and will be able to build the life you’ve always wanted for yourself.
Thinking of your relocation as your first step into an exciting new world will help you overcome your sadness and anxiety and successfully deal with moving away from family and home.
RELATED: How to deal with moving house emotions
Make your move easy and stress-free
Coping with moving will be easier when things go according to plan and you don’t encounter any problems during your relocation endeavor.
The surest way to ensure a smooth and trouble-free move is to leave it in the hands of experienced and trustworthy professionals. The experts will take care of all the aspects of the arduous relocation process, so you will have nothing to worry about and will be able to dedicate more time to your family and friends and to better prepare for your new life. Just make sure you research your options well and find the best movers for you. Your relocation is guaranteed to be a success.
Give yourself time
Do not push yourself – have a good rest after the relocation, relax, and allow yourself to be sad for the things you left behind. Call your pals and your family just to hear their voices and draw strength from their love. Take your time and find your peace. Slowly, but surely you’ll get accustomed to your new surroundings, will regain your balance and your motivation, and overcome your nostalgia.
Make your new place your sanctuary
The best way to deal with moving away from home is to create your dream home in your new area. Arrange your new place to your liking, make the living space functional and cozy, put your favorite decorations on display, place your best-loved books on the shelves, and find your old blanket – just surround yourself with items that make you feel happy and comfortable and remind you of beloved people and cherished dreams. It is also a good idea to arrange some of your things in the same way as they were in your old home – this will create a feeling of familiarity and warmth in your new place. (See also: How to make your new place feel like home)
Make sure you hang some of your favorite family photos (and pictures of your friends) on the walls – seeing the familiar faces of your loved ones throughout the day will cheer you up and provide a sense of closeness and connection. Likewise, keep any treasured items given to you by your family and friends on display in your house – every time you look at them, you will remember the good times you’ve had together and the special bond you share, no matter how far apart you are. This will brighten your day when you’re feeling especially lonely and depressed in your new reality.
Find comfort
To cope with moving, you need to restore your inner peace:
- Keep busy – Having some important task to complete, some exciting project to engage in, or something fun to do will keep sadness and depression at bay. So, make sure you keep your hands busy and your mind occupied – especially during the first couple of months after the move;
- Build a routine – Having a daily routine will not only give you a sense of security and fulfillment, but will also make you feel that your life is back on track – so try to establish yours during the very first days after the relocation;
- Keep traditions alive – If you always had dinner at 7:00 at home, eat your evening meal at the same time in your new place. If you always went to the movies on Saturday nights with your friends, go see a movie on Saturday night in your new city – this will help you feel like yourself and will put your mind at ease;
- Make your favorite foods – Ask your mom how she makes your favorite dish, then make it yourself. The familiar food will help comfort you when you’re feeling lonely and nostalgic;
- Get a pet – You will have someone to take care of, someone to have fun with, and someone to cuddle close when you’re feeling lonely. You may even find new friends among other animal lovers in your area when taking your pet out for a walk, for example;
- Keep a diary – A journal will allow you to “share” all your experiences, thoughts, and feelings – so you’ll not only remember everything you went through, but will also be able to analyze your new life and see all its positives and negatives.
SEE ALSO: How to overcome relocation depression
Keep your focus on what took you to your new place
You may be missing friends and family, but you came to your new city for a reason – to go to college, start a new job, start a family of your own, etc. So, no matter how hard it may be, focus on your reason to be here and try to make the most out of it – work harder, acquire new skills, expand your knowledge, just do everything possible to advance in your career or your studies and accomplish the goals you set for yourself before the move.
In fact, being away from home will be quite beneficial for your personal development – without the pressure to keep up relationships around everyone else’s schedules you’ll be able to put more time and energy into your own goals. And the feeling of achievement and success you’re going to get in the process will certainly make it much easier for you to deal with moving away from family and friends.
Enjoy your new life
The final step to coping with moving is to start appreciating the differences and enjoying your new world. Get to know your new city, explore your new surroundings, get involved in the community life, join clubs, organizations, or sporting teams to partake in activities you enjoy, make new friends, and take advantage of every new opportunity that presents itself.
While these new pals will never replace your close friends and family members, new relationships will help you feel less isolated and will give you a local support group. And the new experiences and activities you engage in will help relieve some of the sadness or loss you may feel. (See also: How to adjust after moving)
Soon enough you’ll feel at home in your new environment and will thrive in your new reality.
Hey, My name is akanksha. I just shifted kuwait from india. Last week only. Am also sad. I dont wanna go back because it took so much feom me to come here for job. But still i feels sad very often. By the thought am seriously this far from me family. As its my first time doing job abroad. Thanks for you post. Rwally feeling bit relief. Lets see how i gonna make thinks out. Thanks take care.
Hi Akanksha,
How are you feeling now? I moved away from my family several months ago – not just family, but culture. I feel so much is different. I miss my family but also feel freedom at the same time. I haven’t not seen them in 5 months – it doesn’t feel that long but at the same time it does.
I wonder if my husband and I made the right decision. I do feel we have so much opportunities in front of us – but it is hard because the culture is so different.
How are you feeling now? What have you’ve been doing to cope?
I’m leaving soon. Really sad as well. Also for a job for my husband. I don’t want to leave home & family.
I am also having to move for a job for my husband and leave my hometown and family. There are no “pro’s” at all for me moving away which makes this even tougher.
Hi Akansha,
The same thing happened to me way back in 2019, when i shifted to banglore from rajkot for the first time. It was proud moment for me to get a job in TITAN but at the same time was very sad and anxious as i was going to leave my family and home, especially my mom. But somehow i understood their sacrifices that they made for our bright future. So i went there and did job for around 8 months and almost after 8 months Covid came and i had to left bangalore. Now i got job in surat but still it feels like something am missing out. Family for sure.
Thank you. I needed to hear this.
My heart is shattered over my mother moving. It breaks for me and my child. I feel like I’m losing the only person who truly, unconditionally loved my child as much as I do. It hurts.
HI im ava and my dad is moving to alabama in a year and im really sad and i have a chose to live with my mom or my dad and i just fell sad and not happy it like this darkness has taken over my body
hi ava, i hope everything is okay now, or at least a little better. i had to deal with the same thing a couple years ago, but i promise it’s not the end of the world. you still get to see and talk to whichever parent you didn’t choose to live with, and both of your parents love you unconditionally, as parents should. i promise you this pain doesn’t last forever, it’s only temporary. sadness is just something we as humans have to deal with every now and then, but the sadness doesn’t last forever, it just comes and goes. but don’t let it kill your spark. you’re a special person who deserved happiness, just like everyone else.
I’m leaving for Michigan for six months! I’m excited but nervous because I’ve never been away from let alone my son. What are somethings I can do? I’m going for work. I will be able to come home for visits.
Hi I’m Hannah. I’m 18 and I live with my family rn but next year my boyfriend wants to move across country to Alaska and I’ve never lived away from family and I really want to go we have been together for years and are soon to be engaged but I’m scared to leave my family and home bc I don’t want my family to hate me or feel like I don’t want or love them bc I do a lot and I’m scared about missing things or hurting them but the thought of going makes me excited bc I’ve never lived somewhere else and Alaska is so pretty and I just don’t know how to feel or how to even tell them I want to go bc I don’t want them to hate me or make me feel like I’m a horrible person I just want to be happy but keep everyone around me happy . How do I feel better and how do I not feel like they won’t love me if I go? I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this bc my family doesn’t know. I’m to scared to tell them
Hi girl I’m Haley. I moved from GA to Alaska with my bf. I went a year without seeing my mom and sisters who I’m so so close to. It was very hard for me. And Alaska is SOOO different from Ga. with that being said, I have a job I love now, and am going to school in Alaska too! I’ve managed to save enough to visit my family and today is my last day with them. Even though I went a year without seeing them, I don’t want to go another one. I know not everyone can travel all the time because it is expensive but try your best to travel and see your family or have them come to Alaska and you can show them the beauties of it. And it’s not forever you never know what life will do. I’m thankful for my boyfriend because he’s been by my side through it all and very supportive.
Hi I am from Bhutan. I am leaving home next week to find a job. Even though it is not my first time moving away from them, I feel like I will die when I get separated from them. I am already feeling so so so sad. I don’t know how I will be able to deal with it.
Hey.Im leaving home in a month for school and job. It still feels super surreal to me. Sometimes I wish everything could stay the same.I am already broken just by the thought of leaving I don’t know how I’m going to handle it when I actually do.i try to calm myself by thinking that this is the right decision to make. It’s not the end and I will surely see my friends and family again. A change of space develops a human being.Reading comments from here also helped a lot, consider I’m not alone.Im sure everything will work out for all of us <3
hi melody, how are you doing now? I am going to be moving away from my family for the first time to live with my partner + go to school across the country. I feel the exact same way you described; sometimes I also wish things could stay the same. the idea of moving is so exciting and terrifying, I can’t believe I will be going in a little over a month. I wanted to ask you how you’re doing now, and if the move ended up going well? wishing you nothing but the best!!
If I was going to move away from my home and family
I will contact my family thought my phone like video call or normal call and I will update them everything like what I’m going to do or where I am going.
Hi
I’m moving to collage next week…not able to leave family behind…couldn’t cope without them..im a pre medical student…I aim big which is leading me to leave my family behind….and I wont even have many holidays
Hi everyone!
I’m a South Asian girl who’s extremely attached to my family, I have never been apart from them for more than 2 weeks. Now, I’ll be graduating University in Canada and going to the UK to pursue a law degree. The thought of it is just shattering my heart. I really don’t know how I’ll be able to cope with it. I’ve never been given independence and now, all of a sudden, I’ll be moving across the globe. I hope I’ll be okay!
Just came across this blog and come to know that I am not the only one who is leaving home for Job.
Feeling relief after reading this. In some days, I am gonna leave home to another city. I am only 17.
Hi,
I am from India and moved to Canada alone a month back. I miss my family so badly. I appreciate the article and will try to apply the mentioned tips. Reading through the comments, it gives me a sense of relief that that I am not the only one in this.
Good luck to everyone.
Hey I’m Dee, I just moved from home to a whole new state, I’m so sad, I can’t help but cry all the time it’s only been a day but It feels like a decade, I miss my one year old daughter so much and I’m afraid she’ll forget me or not form a proper bond with me, I’m devastated
Hi, I am moving to Scotland in the next few days and am having pre relocation depression because am not ready to move out of my comortgage zone the idea is bringing tears to my eyes, and I’m trying to distract my mind but it is too overwhelming
Hey there. I was just checking in and seeing how you are doing. Scotland is a beautiful part of the country. You are very lucky.
Hi, I’m Jason and the thing is, I seem to be having a delayed reaction to moving away from my family. I moved from the west coast USA to the east coast Canada almost three years ago and had a sad moment when it was all said and done but don’t remember it lingering for too long. I was recently able to see them again not long ago after the borders opened up again and coming back from my trip it feels like I’m experiencing the process of moving away all over again where I’ll get random bouts of extreme sadness that I can’t physically see them every day. I’m sure time will heal me and my wife has been very supportive, I’ve just been really feeling the distance this time.
I moved to another state as my husband retired. we love it here. however, i feel i deserted our daughter and grandchildren, who are still little. i hurt a lot as my prior home is not there anymore, for them to visit . it was a beautiful home with acreage. Us seeing one another now entails a plane ride. my husband is so happy here and i love it too and am glad he is where he wants to be at our age! He is a wonderful husband and father to our children. i simply feel very sad. i have made friends here i am keeping busy but i know my daughter and son miss the home we had up north. help please anyone in same situation?
Hi everyone. Reading some of the posts makes me realise I’m not on my own. I’ve decided to move from a city to a town in the UK but to make matters worse I have been diagnosed with BPD. So you might be able to guess that making decisions for me is a killer. Anyway reading the all the advice above has helped a lot. Thank you and I hope we all find peace. God bless.
Like many others here it’s so relieving to know how many other people have felt like this. I just moved across the country from CA to IL to do my masters degree. It was hard leaving everything behind, but my sister was coming with me to help me settle in so it didn’t feel so bad. The last couple of weeks were really fun. But now she just left today and all the feelings are hitting me at once. I can’t stop crying and j think I’ve realized just how far away I am from all the people and places that I love and care about. I know the first night is always the hardest but I thought I’d be fine since I hadn’t felt like this after moving in… But it turns out it was only OK because my sister was there. I didn’t want to make the move to Illinois but I had to for the sake of my schooling, and I know it’s for the best but I’m trying not to let myself regret it right now. It’s my first night alone in my very own apartment so I should be excited, but I just keep crying because I miss my sister. I hope it feels better soon and I hope everyone else who has posted their tales have all come to feel better as well
I am so deeply broken. I left my 3 daughters and my wife to take up a job in the East of Nigeria. It was an exciting feeling initially but since I arrived a week ago, I have cried like a baby every morning because I feel terribly lonely without my girls. I tried to keep in touch with video calls but each time the girls will cry and ask me to come back and this further breaks me into a thousand pieces. Unfortunately, I have no choice because I have to work to pay their school and medical bills. I am determined to push and remain focus on why I have to come here in the hope that they too will adjust to our new reality.
hi, i am mathilda from germany! i am moving 500km away from my family today. although it’s the second time for me to move out after i’ve lived away for a year during early covid times, it feels so different now because of the immense distance between home and my new city. my mom and i have a very close relationship and just thinking about leaving her today brings tears to my eyes. i chose to move to the city i am moving to because of my studies and am really excited to settle down there, yet oddly enough, i feel so small and lost and not ready to take that big step. i just know we’ll both miss each other so much and that bc of work and the distance we both won’t be meeting up until christmas… i couldn’t even remember how i coped with homesickness the last time i was away, so this thread really helped! 🙂
hello, I’m Dani, I’m 19, and in a little over a month I’ll be moving from Arizona to Michigan to live with my partner and attend university. I’ve never lived apart from my family before, and I have no relatives in Michigan, so I’m worried I’m going to be lonely. I have an incredibly close bond with my siblings and my mom. The thought of leaving them, of not living with them anymore, has made me cry every day for the past couple months leading up to this move. it feels like all I can think about is how scared I am of living without them; how scared I am of growing up. reading this thread has helped reassure me that what I’m going through is normal, so if anyone is reading this who is in a similar situation to me right now, I just want you to know that you aren’t alone. as scared as I am of moving away, I know it’s for the best, and I truly am excited to get away from this state and create my own life. I’ve been trying to welcome this coming change, and although it’s been hard, I know I’ll heal and become a better person from this over time.
Hello everyone,
Just moved provinces to get away from big city toronto. I left my family and i am very close to them. Its been 3 months and i feel extremely depressed. I also left my boyfriend behind because he did not want to move with me, but i really thought he would miss me so much and follow me here but it doesnt look like thats happening infact we seem to be drifting even though weve been together 8 years. I am so depressed and lonely i thought moving away would make me happy but i miss my family and friends so much. Now i just really want to go back 🙁 ugh