Once your move is over and the hectic moving preparations, arduous moving tasks, and nerve-racking moving concerns finally come to an end, you will certainly feel quite relieved… and rather drained… and maybe a bit unsettled…
Your new place won’t feel like home yet and your new world may seem somewhat overwhelming, but the excitement of living in a new city, meeting new people, and trying new experiences will be more than enough to counter any unease you may feel at the beginning. And you will have plenty of important post-relocation tasks to deal with, so your days will be full and busy and there will be no time for brooding or questioning yourself.
However, when all the urgent tasks are taken care of and the initial excitement wears off, negative emotions may start rising to the surface – sadness from being away from friends and family, nostalgia for your old life, loneliness, uncertainty, emptiness… You may feel dejected and downhearted – or even downright depressed.
Relocation depression is, in fact, quite common – it comes as a result of stepping out of one’s comfort zone and facing the challenges of an unfamiliar environment. Every new beginning is difficult and it’s only natural to feel overwhelmed and mournful for one’s old life.
Yet, giving in to depression will do you no good – you need to find a way to surmount the sadness and nostalgia and rediscover your sense of peace and purpose, so you can get to appreciate and enjoy your new world.
Find out how to overcome relocation depression and make the most of your new life.
Give yourself time
First things first – give yourself time to wind down after the move and get used to your new surroundings.
Don’t rush things and don’t push yourself – take your time to settle into your new life. Have a good rest and relax after the stressful moving process, set up your new home the way you like it and create a daily routine that brings you comfort and joy. Try to restore a sense of normalcy to your life and things will naturally fall into place.
Make your new place feel like home
In order to feel at ease in your new world, first you need to start feeling at home in your new place.
So, focus on your new home before all else – unpack your items and make the space functional, comfortable, and beautiful. You can recreate your old home decor to bring a sense of familiarity to your new surroundings or you can go for a completely new interior design to give yourself a chance for a fresh start. Either way, be sure to surround yourself with things you love – hang your favorite pictures on the walls, place your best-loved books on the shelves, take out your preferred dining sets, vases, bedding, etc. Such cherished items will bring warmth and coziness to the home and will make you feel more connected to your new place.
Add some house plants too. They will help turn your new home into a cheerful haven – and will help you regain your inner peace.
See also: How to make your new place feel like home
Get to know your new surroundings
An unfamiliar environment can easily bring about uncertainty and fear. The only way to combat these unsettling feelings is to make the unfamiliar setting familiar – in other words, to get to know your new surroundings.
Take a walk around your new neighborhood, locate local businesses and important places, hang out in the park, or go shopping in the nearest mall – soon enough you will learn your way around the area and it will no longer seem unwelcoming or confusing.
The better you get to know your new area, the less strange and more appealing it will begin to feel – and, before long, you may begin to actually like it and enjoy living there.
See also: How to get to know your new city
Make an effort to make new friends
Once you start feeling at ease in your new surroundings, it’s time to focus on the people. After all, loneliness is one of the main causes of depression, so in order to overcome relocation depression, you need to overcome loneliness.
Start by introducing yourself to the people next door – tell them how glad you’re to have moved to their community and how much you would appreciate any advice they may have for you. Be polite and friendly and let them know that you’re open to communication and cooperation.
Be friendly with your co-workers too – say “yes” to every invitation and use every opportunity to spend time with them and get to know them better.
Throw a housewarming party and invite your neighbors and colleagues over – it’s a good way to break the ice and lay the foundations of friendly relationships.
Get involved in the community life – participate in communal activities, attend local events, and engage in casual conversations with people. This way, you’ll get a sense of belongingness and will find your place in your new community in no time.
It is also a good idea to sign up for some classes that interest you, volunteer at a charity you care about, and/or join a club or a gym where you can practice your favorite activities – you will have the chance to meet like-minded people who share your interests, passions, and points of view and it will be really easy to make new friends.
See also: How to make friends after moving
Stay in touch with the people who matter to you
As important as it is to make new friends, you shouldn’t give up on your old pals.
Nowadays it’s very easy to stay in contact with the people you care about, regardless of the distance between you – your family and friends are just a phone call (or several mouse clicks) away. You don’t need to sever meaningful relationships because of your move – the loved ones who stayed behind can still be a part of your life.
So, there is no reason to feel sad – and depressed – about “losing” the people who matter to you – you just need to make sure you keep in touch. Your friends will be there for you, will provide you with encouragement and support, and will make you laugh, chasing depression away.
See also: How to keep in touch with friends after moving
Stay busy
Quite naturally, the busier you’re, the less time you’ll have for downbeat thoughts and feelings.
Therefore, in order to avoid relocation depression, it’s important to stay active and engaged after the move. You can get a pet, start a flower garden, engage in regular volunteer work, attend classes, etc. – whatever interests you and makes you happy. It will give you purpose and will bring you joy, so life will feel meaningful and satisfying.
Focus on your reason to move
The most crucial thing to remember when wondering how to cope with relocation depression is that you moved to your new city for a reason – a new job, more affordable life, better opportunities, educational pursuits, family matters, etc.
So, instead of mourning what you’ve left behind and succumbing to melancholy and depression, you should focus on the good things your new area has to offer and your reason for moving there. Keep positive and start working towards your goals – in the process, you will start seeing things in a new perspective, will gain plenty of experience and knowledge, will grow as a person, and will become much more confident and self-assured. You’ll be living the life you’ve always wanted for yourself and no depressive thoughts will ever cross your mind.
Thinking of your move as the beginning of your exciting new life will help you overcome relocation depression and get rid of negative emotions – so you’ll be able to appreciate and enjoy your new world. Happy moving!
Moving without a spouse is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. I feel overwhelmed and lonely even while at work. Seeing a counselor but wishing I never made the move. How does one make a better situation under those conditions?
Hi Vicki
Feeling exactly the same. I don’t expect you will get this but if you do how are you now.
Hi Vicki, I feel your pain. I’m in the same boat. I left an area that I knew very well where I had friends, both in and out of work. My new city is considerably smaller and I feel like an outsider as a single female. I feel like everyone is in a couple and the wives don’t want me along. So badly want to go back to my old area!
Did you end up moving back?
hey i just moved, without a spouse nd im freaking out
Hi all, I’m midway through moving from a central flat we’ve been in for 20 years to a very nice house in the suburbs…Can’t stop crying and having panic attacks and huge regrets. So awful, constantly asking why we did it. Remembering all the local places we used to go just makes me feel sick with nostalgia. But surely it can only get better?
Hi, We just sold our home after being here for 42 years.I raised 3 children and 1 granddaughter who moved out recently. I was in my 20’s when we built this very large house on 5 acres.I am now almost 70. My husband recently retired and decided (I ageed) the house with 5 bedrooms and over 3000 sq. ft was no longer needed,and the expense to keep it also. We are moving 22 hrs away, to a warmer area. It’s heartbreaking for me at this age to leave my family and friends behind. My husband can no longer take the cold weather here. I feel like my life is over.
I lived in my last place 10 years alone…and I loved it. I decided to move into an apartment complex for elderly and disabled because the rent was almost half of what I was paying. The 100 unit building is only a few blocks from where I did live, but since I’ve moved everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. Starting with moving day, where my movers and I were “babysat” by the building’s custodians to make sure we didn’t damage anything (apparently a rule). A day later the brake lines went on my car and it cost a pretty penny to fix it. A few days later, as I slept on my couch half naked a maintenance man let himself into my apartment for a “fire alarm inspection” (apparently everyone was notified in advance, but I never got the notice). A week later I accidentally spilled a bucket of mop water in my bathroom and it leaked down into the apartment below me (I cleaned it up quickly, but that garnered another visit from maintenance). When trying to pull out of a parking spot in the lot, I completely drove over a medium, thinking I just hit a curb (it was very upsetting but no damage done). A nosy neighbor knocked on my door unannounced to chat, which I didn’t appreciate very much (I’m a private person). And today, when I went to check my mailbox, the mail woman was currently loading the boxes, and although I was only trying to be as un-intrusive as possible, she harshly scolded me for “sneaking up behind her.” I mean she really let me have it, in front of a couple other tenants that happened to be talking to her. It’s only been one month, and I’m feeling very defeated. I knew I was going to experience moving depression, but I really did come into this new place with a positive attitude and hope that a new place that is more affordable would bring new opportunities for me to self-improve. I just cannot understand why it has been a disaster since day one. Is it the universe trying to tell me I made the wrong decision? Am I just not the type of person who can thrive in this type of housing? I had a little apprehension about moving into a building that is basically a warehouse for the old and in-firmed. but I am quiet and a nice neighbor. I am a bit of a loner, and I like my privacy, but I would never be intentionally rude to anyone (although tell that to the mail carrier….who thought I “snuck up on her.”….in reality I was trying not to get in her way, but my consideration came out the exact opposite in her eyes). I don’t want to be on the bad side of my mail carrier, as I receive and send many packages; so this weekend I’m going to buy a dunkin donuts gift card and leave her a note in the mailbox apologizing for my clumsy behavior. I feel absolutely so terrible about everything. I don’t know what to do….I don’t even want to leave the apartment, even though I feel so stressed being here too. Please any advice or encouragement would be appreciated. Thanks.
Wow, this is quite a story, sounds like mine, I lost my job the day before moved into my apartment, I live on the 13th floor (probably a bad omen). I’ve lived in this place for 3 years and haven’t had any financial success since I’ve been here. I hope things got better? Did you decide to stay?
I’m leaving town (maybe a little drastic) because I don’t think I’ll ever have any success in this city. prior to moving here I got into several car accidents. I just don’t think I’m meant to be here.
how are you doing? have you settled a bit better?
i moved 13 times (on my own, two cats) since 2009.
Peace and Love to you. You most certainly do not deserve this treatment . The mail carrier does NOT deserve a reward for her bad behavior. Every body has bad days. You need to decide if it’s going to break you. Please LEAVE your apartment. Go to a park with birds, flowers,animals and just listen. Sit in the sun for awhile . You are the same worthwhile human you were 15 years ago. You had a patch of bad luck. Get with some people you know care about you, or go to a coffee shop, you are bound to see happy people ther, may be change your perspective. Please believe there is always hope, promise.
It is a relief to read these things, though wouldn’t wish these feelings on anyone! Moved 5 weeks ago on my own, which have done several times before but this move has totally traumatised me – maybe because I’m older now (in my 60’s) but not really sure as always been so independent. The months up until the move were very stressful & in my heart lost the will for it but went through with it partly as certain people had worked so hard for my equity loan. Move day also traumatic & lost stuff. Big reason was to get away from v noisy neighbours & also to move to a quaint cottage but have been shocked by noise from road & other noise I wasn’t expecting, plus cottage so dark in comparison to light I had – truly believed the compromises would be worth it, and I hope they will! but so far have only felt totally overwhelmed & v depressed. I am waiting for secondary glazing & stuff like that, but these factors along with general move stress, everything being online, with all it’s frustrations, and then all my technology breaking down led to me almost feeling suicidal recently. Tech sorting & I am trying to be positive but I never want to feel like this again and I know it’s because I’m on my own – even with good friends I have felt utterly overwhelmed.
I moved from my lovely quiet village to big city to be full time grandma 16 years ago. The 2 little ones were so sweet (one newborn, the other age 2). I babysat nearly every day & loved it. I went on every field trip, attended every birthday, every dance recital etc for 14 years . i even helped my daughter with her housekeeping chores. My life had such joy & purpose as a fulltime grandma.
Then the kiddies grew up, which is only natural, but I feel like l have no purpose in life anymore, no reason to get out of bed anymore (kind of like empty-nest syndrom) or like i lost my fulltime job.
So i am considering moving back to my old home. Only problem is im worried about moving back all alone, with no family there anymore. I honestly want more peace & quiet & serenity at my age now, 75. the city is fast & busy. My kids & grandkids like the city because of opportunities for work & education. But i am retired, dont drove & feel alone. My old hometown folk are so much more laidback & I know in my heart that fit in better in a small community, as far as a place goes. . Its a walkable village too, amenities all closeknit. No need of a car. I dearly love & adore my kids & grandkids, but i also really want to move back to my old quiet home village.
I havent been able to put roots down here. The city does not feel like home to me.
On the other hand, its not an easy trip to visit back & forth. My old town is rather isolated & requires a ferry to get to & from it. The ferry lineups are long & with 2 or 3 ferry waits .. rather time consuming. Its one of the few cons of living there. Since my daughter & son-inlaw both work fulltime, i do not expect them to visit me more than once a year, but I do hope i can come visit them every christmas. Its a good hour & a half to reach the ferry from my family’s home in the city, but i know they are willing to meet me at the ferry should i visit.
Truth be told, I just need a little advice, regarding whether or not I’m too old to do this move or even to live far away from family. & I dont want to end up regretting the move either. Anyone reading have a similar experience. I’d appreciated hearing your perspective. Thanks!
Sincerely, grandma contemplating move.
Reading these posted stories sounded just like my debacle. We moved from Texas to Florida for my “wonderful” job opportunity. As someone else said above “everything that could go wrong did go wrong”. My husband picked the moving company and I use that term lightly. We were totally scammed. We are missing expensive items, money was stolen and I haven’t recovered from the experience still. Then on the drive down, I had a freak accident at the gas pump as I pulled out the gas nozzle from the gas tank, gas sprayed all over me on my face and clothes. My husband stood there dumbfounded while sweet angels ran over with bottles of water to pour all over me. We moved into the house in Florida, the “movers” showed up at 7:45 pm and hurriedly moved in our furniture. And dumped all the boxes in the garage. None were labeled so we had to open all and hunt for our basic stuff. I am heartbroken about all the missing items. Then we had no air conditioning for 10 days while hurricane Ian roared through, the smoke detectors all started alarming at once and that went on for days until the handyman could come out and replace the batteries. I have not slept a full night since we moved in September. This was more traumatic that my 2 previous divorces. This horrible experience almost led to divorce #3.
I want to go right straight back to Texas and we are (God forbid) going to go through this whole horror again in the next month or two.